Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Letting go of my anger and frustration

All this frustration and anger at the mic-key button situation really drained me of some much needed energy.
But I am trying to let go of all those negative feelings and just trust that everything will work out for the best.

And yes, I feel a lot more peaceful now. I have changed back to the smaller mic-key button (did it myself and it was no big deal at all), I have heard from some people on the internet that they have the same popping sensations when they get hungry and it is something one gets used to and it actually feels a lot better already with the smaller button.

I ordered a new button type today - it is an AMT Mini ONE button and it is very similar to the Mic-Key button but a bit flatter and more flexible. I don't know if that was a wise decision because I am just getting used to the Mic-Key, but on the other hand maybe it will fit my stoma site better due the softer and more flexible external bolster (my stoma is quite low - just above my belly button and so my button always gets pulled in a bit when I am not sitting very straight - maybe my button tube might actually teach me to sit straighter?).

I am still very unsure about my stoma site and the slightest bit of drainage causes me to worry. It will probably take another few weeks before I feel comfortable with it and know what's normal and what's not.

Other than that - only one more week until M and I leave for our vacation in Italy. I went to buy a bikini today - I have decided not to care at all and still wear a bikini even with my button.
I have realized again today that one should not wait to buy a bikini until July - I had a really hard time finding one in the right size because H&M was so sold out already. But I did find one and it doesn't even look too bad!


Stephanie said...

Good for you, don't worry about what other people think. Go for the bikini!!
I think you'll really like the AMT mini one. It's much smaller and softer than the Mic-key.
Also if the balloon button absolutely doesn't work out, the AMT mini one comes in a non balloon variety too that's just as low profile.

Lisa at AMT said...

Hello Tube Girl! I work for Applied Medical Technology (AMT), the manufacturers of the AMT Mini ONE Balloon Button. I have been following your adventures and am very happy that you found our lower profile product. I am curious to see how the Mini ONE is working out for you. I hope all is going well - good luck with your wedding plans!

Tube Girl said...

Hi Lisa!
I just got it delivered yesterday - but have to wait until next week's gastroenterology appointment before I put it in - will blog about it for sure - am really excited that there is an alternative to the Mic-key buttons.
Take care,
Tube Girl