I usually always try to be up-beat and positive, but today I just can't.
I actually had a wonderful afternoon, spending time with my best friend and her twin boys (one of them being my god-child), having lots of cuddly time with both boys, feeding them and changing diapers and lots of woman-to-woman chats with my friend.
But still, I am having a hard time fighting off feeling down. I have been having bad "slow stomach days" since last Thursday and I just hate the nausea and feeling full all the time that comes with it. I have been taking domperidone again, and it does help a bit, but I hate to rely on even more meds to function somewhat.
We have been increasing my tube-feeding calories because of my high energy needs - more calories means more formula and that means more time spent hooked-up. When I am having bad gastroparesis days and I can't eat enough orally during the day, I have to increase my nightly tubefeeds even more and I hate being hooked up for so many hours. At the same time I simply don't want to hook up during the day, especially when I am at work.