Saturday, July 31, 2010

My compliance wants a vacation

I have always been very, very compliant with my tube feeds. If I take a night off from tube-feeding I feel so much worse the next day, as I miss out on so many calories, and therefore I am usually very compliant when it comes to tube-feeding.

Well, this is going to be my fourth night on the elemental formula (Survimed OPD, and my compliance is fading. I know I feel better on the new formula, and I know I have no choice at the moment, but I am having such a hard time with the smell and burped up taste that it almost makes me cry measuring out my feeds at night. I have to be on the formula for four weeks before we recheck my lab values and determine, if I have to continue on the formula.

The thing is, I know I cannot be not compliant, I have to stick with it for those weeks and possibly for longer.

M and I saw our family therapist yesterday for our monthly session and this is the visualization I came up together with her: whenever I am feeling down about the new formula I visualize myself as a healthy and strong woman walking with M on a beautiful mountain pasture holding a child on each hand....

I know... I simply have to do it and not think about it....

Just do it....

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