Friday, August 6, 2010

Time well spent

I love modern technology. At the moment I am sitting at the doctor's receiving my second iron infusion, but thanks to my netbook and my mobile internet I can spend the time surfing the internet and, of course, blogging.

After having such a hard time Wednesday night, I did indeed hook up my old formula, but of course this formula stuck around in my stomach longer, made me feel fuller and making me realize again the advantages of the new formula.

I e-mailed with my dietician, and she concluded that it's probably my allergies that are making me feel so tired and crappy - ragweed just started blooming over here. One week is not long enough to determine, whether the formula has any contribution on me feeling that way. Plus, I really don't have a choice at the moment. In reality I have to stick with it no matter what I think or feel.

Parts of my problems with this new formula definitely have an emotional source. I have a very hard time accepting the fact that my GI-tract is so damaged that I need an elemental formula in order to be healthy. I guess, as long as I only needed regular high-cal formula I still felt "normal" - as in - I can't eat enough orally, therefore I have to tubefeed formula during the night to meet my calorie needs. But having to use an elemental formula means to me that even if I were able to eat enough calories, my body wouldn't be able to use it, and I would have to tubefeed anyway.

I tubefed the survimed formula (the new one) again last night, it went well, today I feel alright, tired, but I guess that's nothing new here.

I guess I have to give my body at least 2-3 weeks to adjust to the new formula, before I really come to any conclusions.

I guess it is always harder, when you have no choice or control over something. Because really, if this is what I need to get my albumin levels back up, then this is what I have to do, and I can't just say "no, I am not going to do it".

For now, I just have to keep on plugging along.

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