I was taken down to endoscopy at 8 AM this morning. Unfortunately they only have 15 FR PEG tubes at the hospital, so they put in a 15 FR PEG tube into my 18 FR stoma. Looks kind of funny.
They then threaded down a j-tube through the PEG deep into my jejunum. Apparently, it has a pigtail at the end and that's supposed to make it stay down even better.
Of course, I am happy about my ability to feed into my intestines, but at the same time I am really sad that I had to give up my button and instead have this long and dangly tube.
I was given the option to go home or stay overnight in hospital, so I went home instead, and I have been crying on and off ever since I got home. I just really hit me that this is it for now.
I asked my GI doc today if he was willing to try again in a few months, and he replied that maybe I wouldn't need to tubefeed anymore in a few months. It's statements like these that make me really insecure - he hardly knows my case yet, and I have been living this for the past five years, and yet he still claims something like this?