Monday, June 27, 2011

So much to do, so little time

That's the story of my life right now... Still, I am way overdue for posting an update. Tube feeding at my cousin's confirmation ended up not being a problem at all. My Stepdad ordered food that I could eat too and shared with me, that way I actually got to eat orally like everyone else.

Last week I had a few really nice experiences like meeting my dietician's intern for a meeting with another newly tubefed patient and even though my dietician had briefed her that I had a feeding tube when she saw me stepping out of the elevator she thought that there must have been some sort of miscommunication going on and more likely I used to have a tube, but don't any longer, as she surely someone as I attractive as I am and as healthy looking can't be tubefed.

It's a bit hard for some people to imagine that tubefed people don't have to look like they are close to dying, on the opposite I look so well and healthy because of my feeding tube.

My dietician is very proud of my progress. I am finally able to build up muscle mass and my arms and shoulders are starting to look less skinny - yes :-)!!!! I have not felt this healthy in a decade I think...

The big news this week is that M and I are getting the keys to our new place this Wednesday! We have already sold quite a bit of our old furniture and our living room is basically furniture-less and instead lots of boxes piled on top of each other. After we get our keys, M and I will need to do some painting and then start assembling all the new furniture in time for the big move July 9th.

My internship is going well, am starting to get used to getting up very early and am really enjoying my time riding the train, especially in the morning with all the other commuters on board it is very quiet and relaxing.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Family functions and tube feeding

I am a self-confident tube feeder in public and in my social circle. But family functions are still a bit iffy for me. I can actually deal with it, it's more my immediate family that sometimes has a hard time with it. A few months ago I was supposed to go with my Mum and Stepdad to spend time with his parents and siblings. My Mum told me beforehand that she didn't want me to say anything about being tubefed (even though I would have worn my waist pack with feeding tube stuff).

Tomorrow is my cousin's confirmation, and I am her confirmation sponsor. I took the train home after work today. When I arrived at my parents' house, it happened to be time to re-fill my formula. My Mum looked at me and asked how I was going to do that tomorrow. At first I didn't know what she meant, turns out my cousin was deeply disturbed by the fact that I have a "hole" in my stomach and use a feeding tube when she spent a couple days with me in Vienna at the end of February this year. My Mum does not want me to top-up my formula bag in front of her and the rest of the family tomorrow. Don't get me wrong, my Mum supports my tube feeding, but I guess I have more experience with feeding in public and being self-confident and not caring about what other people think when they see me handling my tube.

Take today for example, got on the train this afternoon, sat down took out my formula and refilled my bag in front of all the other passengers in my part of the train. I simply don't care.

Thursday, June 16, 2011


I started my second internship June 1st - I love it, but it makes me incredibly tired. I totally underestimated what a toll commuting will take on me and my body. I leave the house at 6 AM and return by 6 PM. There is so much I want to do, like read my (work related) books on the train or when I get home, but after close to 9 hours of working I can't seem to muster up the energy to read a psych book. I am soooo tired. And I am not getting the amount of sleep I usually need. That's not helping either.....

On top of all of that M and I are moving soon, I have started to pack some boxes, and we have been selling our old furniture. It's kind of strange to sit in our living room / dining room now - no book shelves anymore and the dining room table is gone too :-).

I am too tired to even write.... eyelids simply not staying open.....