Saturday, November 26, 2011

White horse

I didn't get the job at the neuro rehab clinic. Not that I actually wanted it, knowing that I could not do the commute without a car (Manu needs it most days).

Still, I got all insecure - wanting to know what they did not like about me. Was it my lack of experience? My personality? My tube? What did I say during the job interview they didn't like? Was it my tube?  What should I have done different? Questions like these kept spinning in my mind - followed by "What if I never ever get a job as a psychologist?"

"White horse" is my answer to those questions at the moment. If a negative thought like this pops into my mind I say to myself "white horse".

Why?

Read this Zen story to find out...

There was an old man in a village, very poor, but even kings were jealous of him because he had a beautiful white horse…
Kings offered fabulous prices for the white horse, but the man would say, "This horse is not a horse to me, he is a person. And how can you sell a person, a friend?". The man was poor, but he never sold the horse.
One morning, he found that the horse was not in the stable.
The whole village gathered and they said, "You foolish old man! We knew that someday the horse would be stolen. It would have been better to sell it. What a misfortune!"
The old man said, "Don't go so far as to say that. Simply say that the horse is not in the stable. This is the fact, everything else is a judgment. Whether it is a misfortune or a blessing I don't know, because this is just a fragment. Who
knows what is going to follow it?"
People laughed at the old man. They had always known that he was a little crazy.
But after fifteen days, suddenly one night the horse returned. He had not been stolen, he had escaped into the wild. And not only that, he brought a dozen wild horses with him.
Again the people gathered and they said, "Old man, you were right. This was not a misfortune, it has indeed proved to be a blessing."
The old man said, "Again you are going too far. Just say that the horse is back…who knows whether it is a blessing or not? It is only a fragment. Your read a single word in a sentence – how can you judge the whole book?"
This time the people couldn't say much, but inside they knew that he was wrong. Twelve beautiful horses had come…
The old man had an only son who started to train the wild horses. Just a week after he fell from a horse and his legs were broken. The people gathered again and again they judged.
They said, "Again you proved right! It was a misfortune. Your only son has lost the use of his legs, and in your old age he was your only support. Now you are poorer than ever."
The old man said, "You are obsessed with judgment. Don't go that far. Say only that my son has broken his legs. Nobody knows whether this is a misfortune or a blessing. Life comes in fragments and more is never given to you."
It happened that after three weeks the country went to war, and all the young men of the town were forcibly taken for the military. Only the old man's son was left, because he was crippled.
The whole town was crying and weeping, because it was a losing fight and they knew most of the young people would never come back.
They came to the old man and they said, "You were right, old man – this has proved a blessing. Maybe your son is crippled, but he is still with you. Our sons are gone forever."
The old man said again, "You go on and on judging. Nobody knows! Only say this, that your sons have been forced to enter into the army and that my son has not been forced. But only God, the total, knows whether it is a blessing or a misfortune."
Judge ye not, otherwise you will never become one with the total.
With fragments you will be obsessed, with small things you will jump to conclusions.
(as told by Osho)

So yes, "white horse". Things happen for a reason. A much better job might already be waiting for me. I just have to be patient and don't judge!

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