Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Trying to pace myself

If I have something to work on, I get very ambitious and have a hard time pacing myself. It's not really surprising to me that I am having hard time pacing myself when it comes to food trials. I am so excited at the prospect of eating something orally that I tend to override what my body is trying to tell me "take it slowly, don't overdo it".
I am managing quite well with my morning shake, IF I don't add too much banana and too much milk and therefore make the volume higher. I always want to eat something again in the evenings, but even though it the amount is so tiny and I get three hours off the pump afterwards, I get nauseated and once I hook back up the nausea intensifies which of course makes for a very restless night. For reasons I don't want to get into right now, I can't compromise on my caloric intake right now, I need to hook up no matter how nauseated I feel.

Overdid it yesterday, then had too big of a shake this morning and that of course makes for an unhappy stomach and some very unhappy intestines. Also I have been compromising on my probiotics (a powder dissolved in water) because I simply didn't feel I could drink it on top of everything else. Not good, as my intestines really behave a lot better when I am taking my probiotics daily.

I know exactly that the best thing would be to only have this one shake in the morning (and not too much) and be happy and content that I can have at least this one shake without feeling too bad. I will do my best over the next few days to pace myself!

And tomorrow, I will put in a tube feeding only day, get myself out of this beginning flare up and maybe hope for some oral food again over the weekend.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

A turn for the positive?

I have been feeling a bit better lately and have now started experimenting with food again. I am running my tube feed at a slightly higher rate in order to have more time off the pump. And for any substantial oral intake I get to have more time off too, as I am able to substract the oral calories from my tube feeding intake.
For the first few days I had semi-elemental nutritional supplements, but now I am starting to have to real food. I am still following GP guidelines, but it is so good to finally taste food again. It does feel strange in my stomach at first, and I have to take it very slowly, but I am doing it! Now I just have to hope that my intestines are behaving as well and absorbing what I eat!

I am feeling incredibly happy!